Onward To Candy Mountain
by LunaWing118
Summary: Lavi found a book, Road then read it too. Now, their trying to find Candy Mountain. A land of joy, and goodness, and sweets. No one else knew what to make of this... Rated T for language. One-shot. NO PAIRINGS


**AGAIN, I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN STALLING MY UPDATES AND MAKING A RANDOM CRACK-FIC!**

**LET THE INSANITY BEGIN!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN D. Grey-Man**

* * *

You see, Lavi was actually spending some time at the Black order's Library. He was shifting through the books, reading title after title, until something caught his eye. A red book, no title. He immediately grabbed the book. He flipped through the book's pages an stopped on one page. He seemed to have read it over and over.

Shocked, he dropped the book and bolted out of the library.

* * *

Road was bored out of her mind. She had just ran off to get out of doing homework, but she had nothing to do. So she decided to do some spying on the exorcists at their new base.

She came through a door into the library. As she looked down each row until she came across a certain red-head who had his head in some book. Then he ran off, just like that. Road made her way to where Lavi was standing and picked up the book. She then got an over excited look on her face and ran off with the book through one of her doors.

* * *

Allen was making his way towards the cafeteria, the only thing that irritated him was the fact that Howard Link was still following him. As if his day couldn't get any worse, Lavi plowed into Allen. "LAVI!"

"Sorry Allen! I have to see Komui!" Lavi jumped back up, more hyper and cheery than usual. He darted down the hallway. Then, out of the blue, one of Road's doors appeared... and Lavi fell into them.

Road stuck her head out. "Sorry, I need to bother him for a minute." And she closed the door.

* * *

-Inside Road's Room-

"You read this book right?" Road asked, holding the book in Lavi's face.

"You read it too?" Lavi looked up.

"We have to find it!" The two shouted in unison, smiling like a kid in a candy store.

* * *

The two stepped out of Road's door, hands up in the air, prancing down the hallway. Allen and Link were still in the 'WTF?' state.

They finally snapped out of it. "Wha- Where are you two going!?" Link shouted at them. They both turned around.

"To Candy Mountain Silly~" They said gleefully.

"What the..." Allen said, unsure what to make of this scene.

"I heard it's a land of wonder." Road stated.

"Well I heard it's a land of joy and sweetness!" Lavi said, they both danced around.

"Candy Mountain~ Candy Mountain~ Candy Mountain~" They sang.

They didn't see the annoyed Samurai come up behind them. "What the hell are you doing Baka Usagi?"

"Hi Yu-chan~ Want to come with us to a land a sugary joy and sweetness~?" Lavi asked.

"I'd rather die."

"Don't be a party pooper Yu-chan~" Road said and grabbed his hand. "We should all go!"

Kanda's response to this was throwing those too lunatics into the wall. "You didn't have to go that far..." Allen stammered. "Hey, what's this?" Allen picked up the strange read book and was about to read it when some one snatched it from him.

"Where did you get this!?" Bookman angrily shouted.

"Uh, Lavi and Road had it..."

"This is a cursed book! Whatever they read will consume their desires! Idiots I tell you." Bookman paced back and forth. "Bring them to Komui's office and tie them up, we don't want them getting into anymore trouble."

* * *

"Why did you tie us up~" Whimpered Road.

Lavi looked like he was about to cry. "We need to get to candy mountain right now!"

"Yeah, candy mountain!"

"So, your telling me, there under some form of curse, caused by this book?" Komui asked.

"I'm afraid that idiot got himself into unneeded trouble."

"Ow, Kanda hit me!" Road complained.

"Then just shut up!" Kanda couldn't handle these two idiots much longer.

"But what about candy mountain?"

"I don't give a damn about candy mountain!" The two gasped for a moment.

The group honestly had no idea what to do. They thought about burning the book but that proved unsuccessful. Kanda just wanted to kill the damn Rabbit and Allen was stuck with Link who was trying to contact Rouvelier. Then, Tyki showed up. "Relax, I'm just here to pick up Road." No one really trusted him.

"Why are Road and that Lavi kid tied up?" Allen caught him up to speed. "Oh, is there a way to break the curse?"

"I don't know, but..." Bookman was interrupted by a cloud of smoke that filled the room. When the smoke cleared, Lavi, Road, and the book were nowhere to be seen.

"I didn't see that coming." Was all Komui could say.

* * *

Road and Lavi exited out of one of Road's doors yet again. They ended up in an unknown forest but neither of them cared.

"Ok, where does the book tell us to go next?"

"Alright, it says Candy Mountain is... this way!" Road pointed north-ish?

They pranced around singing "Candy Mountain~ Candy Mountain~" It was really scary.

But it just got weirder when they came upon a bridge...

* * *

The Millennium Earl was trying to enjoy a peaceful walk. Yeah, not going to happen today. Considering the fact that he saw Road and some exorcist happily walking on some very unstable looking bridge. They finally noticed the Earl when they were half way across.

"Hi Millennie! Look, we're on a bridge~" Road happily waved to him.

"Yeah, we're on a magical bridge of hope and wonders~" Lavi said.

Something definitely wrong here. He was just about task what they were doing when Tyki-pon and that exorcist... Kanda arrived. They both looked terrible, they ha leaves in their hair and dirt all over them.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" They were really pissed now.

"But why would we stop Yu-chan? Candy Mountain is over the bridge~" Lavi whined. Then the Earl saw the little red book, hadn't he destroyed that thing? So, before he could get involved, he just turned around, and let Tyki handle this.

"CANDY MOUNTAIN DOESN'T EXIST!" Kanda unsheathed Mugen.

"But it does, if you come with us, we'll prove it to you~"

"I'm sorry Road but we're going to have to take you back to headquarters -as much as I hate to say it- to figure out what is wrong." Tyki tried to handle this calmly but then he noticed the really evil and angered stares he got.

"No." They said, with a demonic voice. "We have to find Candy Mountain. Now."

* * *

Allen and Link were supposed to join up with Kanda and Tyki. They were supposed to warn them what happens if they deny the existence or no not let them go the "Candy Mountain." The results aren't pretty.

Of course, Link didn't believe that until they found Kanda and Tyki's bodies on the ground... still breathing but completely pounded but what looked like candles and a hammer...

* * *

One kid and One teen made their way out of the forest. Their eyes sparkled with glee at what they saw. It was heaven.

"We made it to Candy Mountain~"

* * *

They group managed to make it out of the forest, Kanda and Tyki weren't telling them anything about what had happened. Allen just snickered at their situation.

Anyway, what they found was something they were not expecting. In front of them was a parking lot and it was for a candy store... one called Candy Mountain.

They all ran inside to see Lavi and Road sitting on beanbag chairs, with lollipops in their hands along with a huge bag of candy each. They turned to the group who had a mixture of angry to really confused emotions on their faces.

Lavi and Road just smiled at them and said "See? We told you Candy Mountain Exists~"


End file.
